It’s been almost two years since we broke up and for some reason I decided to search you on Facebook to see how your life has been. As I typed your name I kept thinking “I hope he’s doing well and that he’s happy” but after looking at your profile picture and glancing at your page I realized looking you up was a mistake. I’m not completely over you and I don’t know if I ever will be.
You. piece. of. shit. You fucked me up beyond repair and I blame you for my failing relationships. I hate to admit it but you dragged my self confidence way down there. And because of you I’m scared to be with anyone else for long enough for me to get seriously hurt.
Today I cried over you for the first time in MONTHS. I wonder if you still think about me or if you ever regretted what you did. But I doubt it. I wonder if you’ve ever thought about contacting me to apologize but I doubt that too.
Sometimes I have really REALLY bad/unfair thoughts about you. Like that I hope you don’t make anything of your life. Or that I hope your mom continued to verbally abuse you. Or that I hope you fall in love. Hard. And then get cheated on so you can know how it feels. I feel disgusting just saying all these things but I had to write them somewhere.
It’s funny that pretty much everything about my life feels perfect to me, but I still can’t seem to get over you. I wish I knew why. And I wish I knew when this would stop hurting for good.
Message to my followers: I haven’t posted here in months and I doubt any of you are even interested in still reading my posts. But I’m making a new blog. I need a fresh start. And I’ll post the new URL on here in case any of you do happen to be interested in my life. I promise the new blog won’t be as depressing as this post!
My Andrew Garfield obsession is so unhealthy right now. An the fact that he plays Peter Parker isn’t helping, I have a thing for nerds (and guys with glasses)! I need to see Spiderman another 10million times.
And his English accent jssdjjfjdjsjsjsjvjxicisisjeht.